Jokes topic
- Thread starter cyber-choc
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Good one!
The thing that is already classic in my school.
There is a pot of water on the table, and an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will put the pot on the oven and turn over on.
Mathematician will do the same.
Then, there is a pot of water on an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will turn oven on.
Mathematician will put the pot on the table and tell us problem is reduced to previous one.
The thing that is already classic in my school.
There is a pot of water on the table, and an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will put the pot on the oven and turn over on.
Mathematician will do the same.
Then, there is a pot of water on an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will turn oven on.
Mathematician will put the pot on the table and tell us problem is reduced to previous one.
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If you have realtively interesting maths, yes, this one is a must.
English man, French man and Polish man get captured by American Indians. The leader of the tribe explains to them he need their skins for making a boat, however because of their innocency they can choose way in which they will die.
French man asks for a saber, yells "Vive la France!" and puts the saber into his chest.
English man asks for a shotgun, yells "God save the Queen!" and shoots his head.
Pole asks for a fork. After some confusion on Indians' side, he gets it, starts spiking his body all over it and yells "You won't have that boat!".
English man, French man and Polish man get captured by American Indians. The leader of the tribe explains to them he need their skins for making a boat, however because of their innocency they can choose way in which they will die.
French man asks for a saber, yells "Vive la France!" and puts the saber into his chest.
English man asks for a shotgun, yells "God save the Queen!" and shoots his head.
Pole asks for a fork. After some confusion on Indians' side, he gets it, starts spiking his body all over it and yells "You won't have that boat!".
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Now I remember a really great one!
A redhead, a blackhead (is that a word?) and a blonde die and must pass a test to get to Heaven.
They have to pass 100 stairs, and on each one they will hear a joke. If one laughs, she falls to Hell.
The redhead does well, but when an imp tells the 32nd joke, she laughs and goes to Hell.
The blackhead does better, but when the imp tells the 64th joke, she laughs and goes to Hell.
Then comes the blondie:
She passed the 99 stairs, and she stands on the last one, but before the imp can start telling the joke, she laughs and falls.
But on the way down the imp flies down to the falling girl and asks ''Wait, why did you laugh? I didn't even tell the joke!''
She replies,
''I just got the first one.''
A redhead, a blackhead (is that a word?) and a blonde die and must pass a test to get to Heaven.
They have to pass 100 stairs, and on each one they will hear a joke. If one laughs, she falls to Hell.
The redhead does well, but when an imp tells the 32nd joke, she laughs and goes to Hell.
The blackhead does better, but when the imp tells the 64th joke, she laughs and goes to Hell.
Then comes the blondie:
She passed the 99 stairs, and she stands on the last one, but before the imp can start telling the joke, she laughs and falls.
But on the way down the imp flies down to the falling girl and asks ''Wait, why did you laugh? I didn't even tell the joke!''
She replies,
''I just got the first one.''
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@ Henchman800: Yes, that was a really good joke! (and by blackhead you meant brunette, right?)
I had a friend like that! (it always took her a good amount of time until she got the joke)
Oh, the times...
A guy was working as an Informatician and his task was to fix any problems about computers.
He got a call from one of the rooms - a computer crashed and the person didn't know what to do.
He told her to switch the computer off, then turn it on.
After a while he got a call from the same room, again the same situation and the same response.
When she called him for the third time, he was really angry.
He came to that room and told her to switch the PC off and turn it on afterwards.
She turned the monitor off and then turned it on...
(the most hillarious thing is that the same person, who was getting jokes 'so fast', also did the same exact thing as in the joke I wrote)
Have you ever been in a situation when you or one of the people you/somebody else told the joke started chocking because of the laughter?
Sometimes I find myself in such a situation and it's really hard to stop laughing when I do so...
I had a friend like that! (it always took her a good amount of time until she got the joke)
Oh, the times...
A guy was working as an Informatician and his task was to fix any problems about computers.
He got a call from one of the rooms - a computer crashed and the person didn't know what to do.
He told her to switch the computer off, then turn it on.
After a while he got a call from the same room, again the same situation and the same response.
When she called him for the third time, he was really angry.
He came to that room and told her to switch the PC off and turn it on afterwards.
She turned the monitor off and then turned it on...
(the most hillarious thing is that the same person, who was getting jokes 'so fast', also did the same exact thing as in the joke I wrote)
Have you ever been in a situation when you or one of the people you/somebody else told the joke started chocking because of the laughter?
Sometimes I find myself in such a situation and it's really hard to stop laughing when I do so...
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Two men drive up to a restaurant with their dogs. there is a sign that says 'NO DOGS ALLOWED'. One of them says, "Too bad, I guess we can't go in."
But the other guy says, "Wait, I have a plan." He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out some shades. He walks up to the restaurant, and the manager says, "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager lets him go in. The second man follows his example, and walks up to the door. "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager looks at the dog and says: "It's a chihuahua."
"A chihuahua?!" The man says, "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"
But the other guy says, "Wait, I have a plan." He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out some shades. He walks up to the restaurant, and the manager says, "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager lets him go in. The second man follows his example, and walks up to the door. "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager looks at the dog and says: "It's a chihuahua."
"A chihuahua?!" The man says, "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"
I loved that!
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I hate english jokes, since I think they're never funny.
English humour is nice, like Monty Python.
A man is talking to God.
''
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
''
English humour is nice, like Monty Python.
A man is talking to God.
''
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
''