Jokes topic

Lianna · Post by **Lianna** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:58 pm

The CB cartoon is real?
The series is alive now!

Cairnie · Post by **Cairnie** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 6:05 pm

Here's one I got from facebook:

"I bloody hate those Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves."

DesLife · Post by **DesLife** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 6:10 pm

That one is very awesome.

Matyuv · Post by **Matyuv** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 6:16 pm

-What's the difference between an introvert and an extrovert mathematician?
-An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.

stan423321 · Post by **stan423321** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:22 pm

Good one!

The thing that is already classic in my school.
There is a pot of water on the table, and an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will put the pot on the oven and turn over on.
Mathematician will do the same.
Then, there is a pot of water on an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will turn oven on.
Mathematician will put the pot on the table and tell us problem is reduced to previous one.

Lianna · Post by **Lianna** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:45 pm

These cats are x2 Black and x2 white?
They're checkered!

Matyuv · Post by **Matyuv** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:02 pm

stan423321 wrote:The thing that is already classic in my school.
There is a pot of water on the table, and an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will put the pot on the oven and turn over on.
Mathematician will do the same.
Then, there is a pot of water on an oven. You ask an engineer and a mathematician to show us how to boil the water.
Engineer will turn oven on.
Mathematician will put the pot on the table and tell us problem is reduced to previous one.

Yeah lol, I believe every maths teacher I had told the class this joke at least once.

stan423321 · Post by **stan423321** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 11:07 pm

If you have realtively interesting maths, yes, this one is a must.

English man, French man and Polish man get captured by American Indians. The leader of the tribe explains to them he need their skins for making a boat, however because of their innocency they can choose way in which they will die.
French man asks for a saber, yells "Vive la France!" and puts the saber into his chest.
English man asks for a shotgun, yells "God save the Queen!" and shoots his head.
Pole asks for a fork. After some confusion on Indians' side, he gets it, starts spiking his body all over it and yells "You won't have that boat!".

Rulez · Post by **Rulez** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:13 pm

Now I remember a really great one!

A redhead, a blackhead (is that a word?) and a blonde die and must pass a test to get to Heaven.
They have to pass 100 stairs, and on each one they will hear a joke. If one laughs, she falls to Hell.

The redhead does well, but when an imp tells the 32nd joke, she laughs and goes to Hell.

The blackhead does better, but when the imp tells the 64th joke, she laughs and goes to Hell.

Then comes the blondie:
She passed the 99 stairs, and she stands on the last one, but before the imp can start telling the joke, she laughs and falls.
But on the way down the imp flies down to the falling girl and asks ''Wait, why did you laugh? I didn't even tell the joke!''
She replies,

''I just got the first one.''

Wiiola · Post by **Wiiola** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:31 pm

@ Henchman800: Yes, that was a really good joke! (and by blackhead you meant brunette, right?)
I had a friend like that! (it always took her a good amount of time until she got the joke)
Oh, the times...

A guy was working as an Informatician and his task was to fix any problems about computers.
He got a call from one of the rooms - a computer crashed and the person didn't know what to do.
He told her to switch the computer off, then turn it on.
After a while he got a call from the same room, again the same situation and the same response.
When she called him for the third time, he was really angry.
He came to that room and told her to switch the PC off and turn it on afterwards.
She turned the monitor off and then turned it on...

(the most hillarious thing is that the same person, who was getting jokes 'so fast', also did the same exact thing as in the joke I wrote)

Have you ever been in a situation when you or one of the people you/somebody else told the joke started chocking because of the laughter?
Sometimes I find myself in such a situation and it's really hard to stop laughing when I do so...

Lianna · Post by **Lianna** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:09 pm

When the people buys without money?
They're not thieves!

Rulez · Post by **Rulez** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 1:58 pm

Wiiola wrote:(and by blackhead you meant brunette, right?)

OoOh, yes that was the word I was looking for!

ikke471 · Post by **ikke471** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:49 pm

a random guy's car is stolen and goes to the police office
man: (while laughing) my car is stolen
police officer: why are you laughing then?
man: my mother was in that car!

Rayrobi · Post by **Rayrobi** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:39 pm

ikke471 wrote:a random guy's car is stolen and goes to the police office
man: (while laughing) my car is stolen
police officer: why are you laughing then?
man: my mother was in that car!

lol XD

Nannerb3 · Post by **Nannerb3** » Sun Jun 26, 2011 2:49 pm

Two men drive up to a restaurant with their dogs. there is a sign that says 'NO DOGS ALLOWED'. One of them says, "Too bad, I guess we can't go in."
But the other guy says, "Wait, I have a plan." He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out some shades. He walks up to the restaurant, and the manager says, "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager lets him go in. The second man follows his example, and walks up to the door. "Sorry, no dogs allowed." The man says, "No, you don't understand, this is my seeing eye dog." The manager looks at the dog and says: "It's a chihuahua."
"A chihuahua?!" The man says, "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"

Lianna · Post by **Lianna** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:34 am

The guy was fitting the radio. The radio was happened and becomes a TV theme radio (such as movies, tv shows, cartoons...)

Danone · Post by **Danone** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:47 am

there was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "doctor I have a fever" the doctor said "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine" the sick one said " but doctor, i only have 3 spoons what shall I do?

Nannerb3 · Post by **Nannerb3** » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:32 pm

Danone wrote:there was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "doctor I have a fever" the doctor said "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine" the sick one said " but doctor, i only have 3 spoons what shall I do?

I loved that!

Haruka · Post by **Haruka** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:19 am

I have one that I found funny

:

"The man sitted in his balcony drinking a beer side to his wife says..."I love you", in which his wife answers... "Is that the beer already talking?".

Her husband answers... "No, it is me talking with the beer.".

Rsandee · Post by **Rsandee** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:48 am

I hate english jokes, since I think they're never funny.
English humour is nice, like Monty Python.

A man is talking to God.
''
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
''

Rayman Pirate-Community

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