Jokes topic

Jesus can walk on water, correct?

(Yes)

Well, I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So - I am 98% Jesus.
 
Jesus could walk on water?

Chuck Norris can swim though land.
 
After years of loneliness, I finally worked out a great dating strategy. I’ll pretend to be gay. I’m going to make tons of chick friends, really get them to trust me, tell me everything… and when they haven’t got an ounce of suspicion left – BOOOM!

I’ll get their boyfriends!
 
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
 
You’re really sucked up.

I ate you.

You’re a stupid grass mole.

Having an argument in the times of auto correct.
 
I get better and drink loads of beer. Hahahaha that's a good one right :lol: :lol:
 
“Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?”

“I’m sorry sir but you’ll have to wait a little bit, they are currently all in use.”
 
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!"
Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
 
About 4,000 years ago:

God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!

Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*

God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!
 
Steo said:
Internet Explorer is good.
Click to expand...

......

Anyway here's a bad joke:
“I am a master of fast calculations.”
“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
“22!”
“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
“Might be, but it was fast!”
 
The Jonster said:
Aaron said:
Why didn't Microsoft make Windows 9?

Because they said nein! :lol:
Click to expand...

And yet people also ask why the iPhone 9 doesn’t exist :lol:
Click to expand...
The S9 does though and yet here I am with an S8 :P
 
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